Struggling to Work Out as a Busy Parent?

You might be missing a third place, not a workout. For some busy parents, the hardest part of losing a workout may be losing the hour out of the house: a ritual that's only yours, somewhere you're not the person everyone needs something from.

Last week, a dad I know lost the gym childcare he relied on for his son every Friday morning. My coach brain went straight to a solution. I wrote to him: "Send me what you usually do on Friday mornings and I'll put something together you can do on your own so you don't lose the habit."

He wrote back: "Appreciate it, but it's not so much the loss of a workout. It's usually short anyway. It's really to get out of the apartment and break up the day when I have him all day."

He was completely right, and I'd missed it.

What a "third place" is, and why so many parents have lost theirs

The sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term "third place" for the spaces that aren't home and aren't work: the coffee shop where they know your order, the library, the bar, the park bench you always end up on. The Nation reported this year that these places are declining across the country, and that losing them can leave people more isolated, with smaller social networks. Washington Monthly went as far as calling for 2026 to be the year of the third place, with a simple resolution: leave your house and be with other people, in person, on purpose.

For parents, and especially for anyone who works from home, the line between first place and second place has mostly disappeared, so the third place is often the only break left in the day. A gym with childcare, a weekly class, even a regular walk with the same neighbor can quietly become that place. When it goes away, you don't just lose a workout; you lose the one part of the week that was yours.

Why the women I work with crave in-person time, even when online is easier

After every monthly workshop I run, I ask the women who came what they enjoyed most. I expected them to name a move or an exercise, and some do, but the answer that keeps coming back sounds like this one: "Working out in person with other women in a small setting is just great." They don't want another hour in front of a screen, and honestly, neither do I. My own daily meditation practice could easily live on an app, but I go in person because the people in that room are half of why I keep showing up.

You can love your kids and your work and still need to be somewhere neither of them can reach you. Wanting that doesn't make you a bad parent or an unmotivated person; it makes you a person who needs a third place.

Why a mix of home workouts and in-person time works best

This might sound like the opposite of everything above, but the other half of staying consistent is flexibility at home. Not every workout is going to be a novel, exciting experience. Some days it's a workout snack in your living room, broken up around everything else. So the reality is that hybrid is really the best play, and that's why my coaching has in-person touch points alongside the workouts women do on their own.

One of my busiest moms has a demanding job and two young kids, and she's getting back into a routine after a long break from the gym. One of the strategies we're using is workout snacks she can break up into two parts around her kids and her work. Out of seven days, we're aiming for three, and there's flexibility around when those happen. And on her office days, she's been going to a strength class with a colleague. That's not why she started, but it's exactly the kind of third place The Nation and Washington Monthly are talking about.

How to protect your third place this winter, especially over the holidays

Winter break is coming, the kids will be home, the weather will push everyone inside, and the first thing most parents drop is the hour that was theirs. A few things that help the women I work with keep it:

• Make it recurring, so there's nothing to decide. Book one standing hour out of the house, put it on the calendar like a meeting you can't move, and tell your partner or co-parent it's taken. I walk with a friend every other week, rain or shine. We never wonder what to do or when, and we both get our steps in. The ritual matters more than the intensity of what you do once you're there.
• Pick what's easy to get to. Choose something that fits your actual week, not the ideal one. I found a Founders Friday group that meets every Friday to hear from a different speaker, and it sticks because it's an easy commute from Brooklyn.
• Go back to something you used to love. One of my clients, also a busy mom, used to play basketball, so she joined a basketball clinic. It might only last a season, and that's OK.
• Trade childcare with another parent. You take both kids on Tuesday, she takes them on Thursday, and you each get your hour without paying a sitter.
• Find your people locally. Parent groups like Park Slope Parents are a good place to find a walking buddy, a childcare swap or someone to go to a class with. Post once and see who answers. Free neighborhood newsletters like GENSA (formerly Brooklyn Bridge Parents) are full of free things to do that are fun for the whole family.
• Choose places that welcome kids. Family programs at the Y, library events, or a stroller walk through the park give you movement and somewhere to go at the same time.
• Keep the home workout short and make the outing social. Twenty minutes of strength in your living room covers the training; the outing covers you. You need both, and they don't have to be the same thing.

How you'll know your third place is working

You'll know it's working when you look forward to it, when you go even on the days you're tired, and when you come home a little more patient than when you left. None of that shows up on a scale, but all of it shows up in how consistent you are with everything else.

If this sounds like someone you know, send it to them, or share it in your parent group. And if you're in Brooklyn and want an hour out of the house that's just for you, my monthly women's strength workshops at Good Reps are exactly that. Save your spot here.